WOULD YOU DATE A YOUNGER MAN?
- October 17th, 2009
- Posted in miscellaneous
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I don’t mean “date” as in going out when you first meet; I mean “date” as in being a couple, going steady, being monogamous–and I don’t mean younger as in, a year younger. I mean younger as in, you feel the need to follow the half your age plus seven rule to figure out if it’s “acceptable” or not.
But assuming the man in question is at least legal and you are his senior by five years or more, would you date this younger man? I personally would worry about maturity differences and commitment issues. Is this younger man going to feel that he hasn’t “dated” around enough to know what he wants? (Then again, 30- and 40-year-old men will still give this excuse.) Is this younger man going to understand the slight generational differences between the two of you? (Movies you’ve seen but he hasn’t, musicians you’ve heard but he hasn’t, events you remember but he doesn’t.) Will you feel that he “acts too much like a child” considering that you may have mellowed with age? Or maybe you’re like me, and have never matured past the mental age of 15.
I’ve only read one book where the older woman/younger man age difference was specifically emphasized. I don’t recall the title, but I remember it being the first “romance” I had ever read and the young man dying in a jousting tournament. *sniff* And I’m still angry at my sister for lending me so sad a story.
Has anyone else read a romance in which this dynamic is emphasized? How did you feel about the typical older man/younger woman trend being reversed? Did it seem to change a lot? I’m guessing it would.
(Oh, and there’s of course absolutely no reason in particular that I am asking this question. None at all… Nope…)
Supposedly, my age limit is 19. I say that with a shiver going down my spine. Dating someone in that age group would be like dating a vampire. Why? Two (2) reasons:
*You could never see them during the day. Their dewey skin compared to my slightly aged leather would be more pronounced plus most of your friends would be at home asleep getting ready for the next work day; and
*They don’t have as many experiences or as much wisdom as you, so they would essentially suck you dry;
But seriously, I have an older woman/younger man story set in Victorian England where the differences in age is the reason why the heroine doesn’t take the hero seriously. Well that and the fact that she thinks he’s a rent boy. ha! The name of the book is “The Merry Widow”. Here’s the url: (http://kokobrown.net/wordpress/bookshelf)
Great post!
I used to say I’d never date a younger man, but as the years go by, I’m reassessing that statement. I think, for me, character is what counts. I do think that too much of an age difference puts a strain on the relationship.
Definitely agree, Lynne. Too much of an age difference (15-20 or more) often just never works out. There are exceptions, I’m sure, but the couples’ priorities in life often don’t mesh. It’d take a very “young-at-heart” and energetic woman to keep up with a guy that much younger.
It all depends on the couple. I hesitated dating my husband at first when I heard he was younger than me. But we hit it off right away. He was more mature than most men I’d dated around my age, and knew what he wanted in life. We’ve been happily married for 8 years. He’s 9 years younger.
You’re very lucky to find such a wonderful guy, Kathy, no matter his age. :) Congrats.
I married a man 10 years younger than me. We’ve been married for 13 years, and the secret is to nag them so that they age at a more rapid rate. So far, it’s worked for me. *lol* Actually, I hardly think of the difference in our ages until someone asks a question that reminds me. Recently, someone inquired about high school graduation and when I told them the year I completed, hubby replied…I was eight back then. Trying to image being attracted to an eight year old sort of made me gag. *rofl* It isn’t pedophilia if you’re both over the age of 40, right?
All these comments give me so much encouragement. :D I’m so happy to hear about your happy marriages and I wish you even more joy! <3